sian

i wanna get out of whateva i am doing now!!! though its only 5 months more... but i think i had enu!!! ahhhhhhh... jia you jia you!

jd... wh... nic... zj... and jc jus went in.. haiz.. less ppl to hang out with le

wishes all the best to them

Nostalgic song-sweet memories

we went out to watch the fireworks performance by France today at marina SQ, even jczjzj were all there.. just like before.. for years we had been meeting up for this simple get-together... just that the size of participants has gotten larger..

it was quite magnificent performance by France.. i will say that i think its even better than the local version from the ndp...

on the way home... we missed the bus 147 (damn those inconsiderate, self-centered passengers who refused to move back) ended up separated from yhhj... haaahha how great right...

when we finally made our way back to hg.. we had supper at blk401.. out of the blue jjd to mi abt how he stumbled across my late frens friendster acct... there are still people who actually post commets onto her profile...

when i was home ... i suddenly had this urge of looking back again at her frozen blog @livejournal .. its still the same as before...the day i learn the bad news of her depart.. i was suddenly reminded of the sad memories of losing her... though earnestly we were not even close frens to begin with.. but i still miss her.. a sudden burst of emotion from the bottom of my heart sort of teared me...

i was listening to the song sweet memories by olivia.. it jus happened to dipicted what was going thur me when i was reading the blog... i really missed her at times... i missed the times when we were younger... back at hgsec.. mi nic n jjd doing that stupid business proj with that teo bee lan...
i know that its impossible to go back in time... live back those sweet carefree fun moments.. and also.. to see her once again.. my impression of her is slowly fading away... i regreted that i didnt take jus a min of my life to jus drop her a msg of "keep in touch" or simply " helo! long time no c.. meet up soon"... all i could rmb is our last meeting outsidethe staff room for the proj.. how shameful : (


PS: as a interesting note.. our eccentric hc fall flat on his back jus this afternoon.... as according to our dearest jjd.. he had quite a clumsy fall with legs all straighten out... sounds funny anyway!

Great

you see.. it has been yrs since i last had chalet.. i rmb clearly the last one was 19th dec of 2006... and it has been a long time since i wanted to know more ppl n know them better..

what i meant is that .. i had outlook the importance to just stick to a single clique... staying loyal to it... it actually came only after jd's cooling attitude towards our clique... i realise that my world shld nv be centered jus abt them... it became clear to mi that i must expand my social network.. n not just that... it must also be deepened..

since a week ago.. i have not stop reminding myself how great the chalet was... it was seriously pure fun and laughter.. the kind of fun that i will consider as more than mere joy... i got to know jc n zj better in person.. and not jus that.. hc n zj(girl) and xr also... it felt more like a holiday overseas..

maybe its also abt the feeling of being included.. and look after... a new clique perhaps... it another indication that my life is moving forward.. i know that such experience will nv occur again cos they r going army le.. maybe not so soon at least..

but still i will nv forget the slpless nights of games of guessture and animal game...

Thanks...!

another game of sudoku..?

jus 2 days back i was having a chat with robot... ahah.. seriously hes very cute...not in the gay sense... but rather like how a little boy looks at a soft toy... anyway... he was telling me how his primary, sec and jc school days were like when he was asked ...

"ah... freak... that crazy women(pri sch form teacher) always gives piles of homework ... such that i can only slp at 12 or 1 am everyday..."

"253 is my PSLE score"

"freak! only got 7 pts... compared to others i am average"

at that time i was reminded of how i used to think of my life... a screwed up game of sudoku ... due to jus 1 wrong move at the beginning ... resulting in more mistakes... such that its impossible to pin point where they are.. the only thing left on the list to help is to erase everything... and start a new... but how is that possible in real life.. its not possible that i can reverse the time back to my pri school days ... for many times ... i had always been feeling regretful of this... i always tot that if that can happen... i may even be a scholar..!

giving it a second tot... i suddenly realise that... my tot may be flawed too...

least i can proudly announce to the world that i had a wonderful childhood and teenage! shldnt i be more gratful for that..?! the ans is YES... least i enjoy my life... i was never forced to do homework "like a sec school student"... i nv knew how stress felt like when i wastaking my psle... least i get to go hougang sec... which happens to be one of the happiest part of my life till now... if not for that i wounldnt get to know them my buddies...

though i understand that paper qualifications will follow u through one's life..but guess the influence will not be any where comparable to that of a going-to-be 8 yr friendship...


all i have to do now is work hard for a better, brighter tml... afterall life is abt the management of joy and happiness...instead of blaming my parents for not bringing me up well... i shld thank them for give mi a wonderful childhood that is free of stress...

THANKS MUMMY and DADDY.. love u all

choices in life

OMG... all of a sudden i was bombarded by this sudden urge to change the path in my life...

The story goes like this.. on this fine day of the 25th may 2008.. we went to pulau ubin.. it was an outing as suggested by me.. though i can see... all except for jimei is not showing me any support... it was a rather like some kind of passion for me.. and i never had chance to realize it until that day...

we always take things in life for granted.. you me.. everyone of us.. we never bother to give a damn about things...unless something awful happens.. something like losing it forever... that is kinda like what happened on that day..

as such...i am not only referring in that incident that only she is at fault.. i do agree that i am at wrong too.. she is not right by taking the word 'sorry' for granted.. as long as my principles is concerned.... basic courtesy still must be observed .. its only for the simple reason of mutual respect...

anyway... its already over .. so shall end here

mesmerized

Recently an old friend came back from Canada.. and so we had this small reunion with all the old classmates.. oh my... since the day we grad from hg sec.. we freaking years had passed.. on top of that we are approaching our 20s... and that equates to being old!!!! ahhhhh... then

but it was a very nice meeting.. altogether 15 of us attended.. we had dinner at the settlers cafe..the outing actually struck a thought in me.. whats the reson for why people are always so mesmerized by the past... experiences and events in fact... and is always longing and eager to relive them..

then just a few days later... some of us decide make a trip back to hg sec... we had long long chats with all the teachers... like as if they are our friends... at that point of time... i felt this weird and strange sensation.. such that one will felt thankful to be alive and it doesnt stop there.. every sec spend is fully utilize and pure enjoyment... the word for it is MESMERIZING.... just like any typical dude.. sometimes i really hope that time can just freeze.. and for me it will be my secondary school days.. but humans are just some stupid idiots who never appreciate what they get to own.. until they lost it.. sometimes the lost can be lifelong.. and at times for a short while.. and soon returns to the owner.. but one thing for sure.. youth and time will never pity on us.. least i think i should be glad that my youth is a beautiful one, surrounded by many friends and good memories..

it was so sweet... fond ... and mesmerizing .. so that i felt like i am talking to the XX i knew 4 yrs ago... and as if that four years had never been there st all.. and that it was only just yesterday that we left that place... i am hereby to say a big thanks to anyone and anything that is responsible for the sweet memories

luxury

Today's topic is about luxury... hmmm sometimes its really confusing...what is a good balance to maintain between dreams and reality....

i once had this dream.. as in literally... the kind of dream you would have during your sleep... that i was someone else.. i couldnt see how the other me look like(Duh... i dont have a mirror with me in the dream.. and its a 1st person kind of dream) but... the whole feeling of myself and the environment is very different from the norm... i was a sec 3-4 boy living in seng kang.. i had a younger sister.. think for some reason ... probably we had angered our 'mum'.. that is why is refusing us entry back home as a form of punishment.. the point is.. i felt absolutely happy to be 'him' ... this only goes to shows that how unhappy i was with who i am.. and yes.. sometimes i really hope i can wake up to find myself not me anymore... its complex when i try to come out with reasons for such a thought and how i should go about solving this issue...


appearance.. self esteem... family...wealth... think these elements that contributed to how i see myself...

appearance.. yes i am working on it... and managed to achieve a well toned and better shaped figure...and still have lots of room for improvement.. method: a healthier diet... amino acid pills.. and regular workout.. complexion hmmm not very good... haaha... but still working on it... method: clarins mens' facial products...


self esteem ... a long way to go.. i always had this problem with communication and presenting myself... but i am working on it... though not impressive.. but i can see improvements... possession of new qualities that i never had... i began to like to greet people in the morning... knowing new people really sparks up my dull army life..also i am working seriously over my proficiency in the english language.. i have been doing grammar exercises ...err.. haha and actually that all... however the most worrying issue here is my spoken english.. its very very bad.. i always felt that both the self esteem and my command of the english language are intertwine...such that i cant speak good english is because of low self esteem.. and that i have low self esteem ie i cant present myself well is also because i cant speak english.. but will work on it..!

regarding family... think i have a near to perfect family.... but the only thing is that each of us are never customize to show one another how much we love one another...so much so that i never dare to show how precious they are to me.. maybe its not the only.. read on

wealth .. this is main issue that i wanna discuss in todays blog ..i had always hope to be a RMS or rich man son... reminding me of this always make me feel sad.. cos i know that its something that can never come true anymore.. and thats why i promise myself that i will and must lead a luxurious life that i always dreamt of .. buying branded goods.. driving luxurious car.. and living in a Maison... hahha... but of cause they are so easily said than actually carrying out it.. cause i wouldnt have the ability to do so...

least i think its a good start with the shopping trip to takashimaya with my family... we went to Louis vuitton(LV) .. she had always wanted to buy herself a lv baggie and wallet... it cost her SGD2500 in all... but for that kind of price we paid.. think the product and the service we received is excellent... i will recommend this particular whom i think is the best .. Gorden... he even bother to serve non potential customers..! while walking around with the huge LV brown shopping bag... we received a very unique treatment from the salesperson from TSC.. i saw the most number of smiles from them in just a couple of hours.. even from those whom we are not buying things from.. follow next.. my mum got me a Angus b. wallet.. it cost me.. $325.. the most ex wallet that i ever own.. but i really love it... the strong of leather .. and the design,,, simple but eyecatching..

in just that single trip i seriously felt as if i am on the top of the earth... almost enjoyimg every single seconds.. guess i am just being shallow and materialistic... but that is just what i want.. soon after that i fell in love with fashion and branded things...

to conclude.. i will work harder towards liking myself.. by improving my life and enjoying how to be me... i must be in full control of the direction of my life..!