mesmerized

Recently an old friend came back from Canada.. and so we had this small reunion with all the old classmates.. oh my... since the day we grad from hg sec.. we freaking years had passed.. on top of that we are approaching our 20s... and that equates to being old!!!! ahhhhh... then

but it was a very nice meeting.. altogether 15 of us attended.. we had dinner at the settlers cafe..the outing actually struck a thought in me.. whats the reson for why people are always so mesmerized by the past... experiences and events in fact... and is always longing and eager to relive them..

then just a few days later... some of us decide make a trip back to hg sec... we had long long chats with all the teachers... like as if they are our friends... at that point of time... i felt this weird and strange sensation.. such that one will felt thankful to be alive and it doesnt stop there.. every sec spend is fully utilize and pure enjoyment... the word for it is MESMERIZING.... just like any typical dude.. sometimes i really hope that time can just freeze.. and for me it will be my secondary school days.. but humans are just some stupid idiots who never appreciate what they get to own.. until they lost it.. sometimes the lost can be lifelong.. and at times for a short while.. and soon returns to the owner.. but one thing for sure.. youth and time will never pity on us.. least i think i should be glad that my youth is a beautiful one, surrounded by many friends and good memories..

it was so sweet... fond ... and mesmerizing .. so that i felt like i am talking to the XX i knew 4 yrs ago... and as if that four years had never been there st all.. and that it was only just yesterday that we left that place... i am hereby to say a big thanks to anyone and anything that is responsible for the sweet memories

luxury

Today's topic is about luxury... hmmm sometimes its really confusing...what is a good balance to maintain between dreams and reality....

i once had this dream.. as in literally... the kind of dream you would have during your sleep... that i was someone else.. i couldnt see how the other me look like(Duh... i dont have a mirror with me in the dream.. and its a 1st person kind of dream) but... the whole feeling of myself and the environment is very different from the norm... i was a sec 3-4 boy living in seng kang.. i had a younger sister.. think for some reason ... probably we had angered our 'mum'.. that is why is refusing us entry back home as a form of punishment.. the point is.. i felt absolutely happy to be 'him' ... this only goes to shows that how unhappy i was with who i am.. and yes.. sometimes i really hope i can wake up to find myself not me anymore... its complex when i try to come out with reasons for such a thought and how i should go about solving this issue...


appearance.. self esteem... family...wealth... think these elements that contributed to how i see myself...

appearance.. yes i am working on it... and managed to achieve a well toned and better shaped figure...and still have lots of room for improvement.. method: a healthier diet... amino acid pills.. and regular workout.. complexion hmmm not very good... haaha... but still working on it... method: clarins mens' facial products...


self esteem ... a long way to go.. i always had this problem with communication and presenting myself... but i am working on it... though not impressive.. but i can see improvements... possession of new qualities that i never had... i began to like to greet people in the morning... knowing new people really sparks up my dull army life..also i am working seriously over my proficiency in the english language.. i have been doing grammar exercises ...err.. haha and actually that all... however the most worrying issue here is my spoken english.. its very very bad.. i always felt that both the self esteem and my command of the english language are intertwine...such that i cant speak good english is because of low self esteem.. and that i have low self esteem ie i cant present myself well is also because i cant speak english.. but will work on it..!

regarding family... think i have a near to perfect family.... but the only thing is that each of us are never customize to show one another how much we love one another...so much so that i never dare to show how precious they are to me.. maybe its not the only.. read on

wealth .. this is main issue that i wanna discuss in todays blog ..i had always hope to be a RMS or rich man son... reminding me of this always make me feel sad.. cos i know that its something that can never come true anymore.. and thats why i promise myself that i will and must lead a luxurious life that i always dreamt of .. buying branded goods.. driving luxurious car.. and living in a Maison... hahha... but of cause they are so easily said than actually carrying out it.. cause i wouldnt have the ability to do so...

least i think its a good start with the shopping trip to takashimaya with my family... we went to Louis vuitton(LV) .. she had always wanted to buy herself a lv baggie and wallet... it cost her SGD2500 in all... but for that kind of price we paid.. think the product and the service we received is excellent... i will recommend this particular whom i think is the best .. Gorden... he even bother to serve non potential customers..! while walking around with the huge LV brown shopping bag... we received a very unique treatment from the salesperson from TSC.. i saw the most number of smiles from them in just a couple of hours.. even from those whom we are not buying things from.. follow next.. my mum got me a Angus b. wallet.. it cost me.. $325.. the most ex wallet that i ever own.. but i really love it... the strong of leather .. and the design,,, simple but eyecatching..

in just that single trip i seriously felt as if i am on the top of the earth... almost enjoyimg every single seconds.. guess i am just being shallow and materialistic... but that is just what i want.. soon after that i fell in love with fashion and branded things...

to conclude.. i will work harder towards liking myself.. by improving my life and enjoying how to be me... i must be in full control of the direction of my life..!

A million thoughts

today lots of thoughts have actually went through my mind... heard abt the reason why ji mei was so busy with recently... someone close to her had passed away... as according to ji mei her aunt is a very head strong and independent women... one fine eg is as such: on the actual days of her operation and on days when she was discharged, she took public transportation on her to the hospital.. and ALONE... thats really amazing.. if i were in her shoes, i guess i would have been doing otherwise... and definitely not alone.. cause i think i would have that kind of courage to face the battle alone... ji mei cried... alot... so much that at some point of time... i really cant hear whats she is saying...

"life is really so short... (sob.. sob...) we should really treasure it.. and always full of surprise.. the next moment someone will just disappear from your side without a word" thats is roughly what she had said.. (not exact)... hmmm.. yea thats very true.. thinking of that.. we also talk abt HiLow... and we came out with this together... HiLow really has nothing better to do... than to make a mess out of our friendship and esp our life.... think she ought to and a day off and just sit facing the mirror to do some reflection on her current life... why make it miserable when u have a choice to brighten it.... life is short... so we should live it without any regret.. dun you think so too.. of i do understand that its easy said than done.. but we can always work towards that goal..

guess its also think to point out this.. heard about how wj is doing in army.. i always thought that he is doing not bad .. at least a sergeant.. but it turn out very different... rumored he fake depression... and down pes to a storeman from a technician... which is huh ... and i found out also that he has became anti social .. hasnt been keeping contact with hy so often like in the past ... he used to be so sunshine and vain.. haha... but now he is a totally changed man.. looking at myself now... i felt total relief... i am no longer in that stage anymore.. though i used to be during my bmt n trainee days.. during those days... the 1st person that comes to my mind is my mum... and take my mind off thinking about my younger days when i am a mummy's boy... i know ii can never reverse time back to then.. so all i can hope is that i can give all the best i can to her... cos you won;t know when who's journey in life is going to end.. just like what ji mei said.. treasure life...

as of now... i really look forward to ORD.. it has been a very long time since i get to enjoy long holidays.. i felt the urge to bring my life forward.. a lot more...